I spent a lot of time getting things, reorganizing, redecorating, and designing at the old house. We repainted every wall in our house, and sometimes we even repainted after we repainted. We picked out light fixtures. Everything took a lot of thought... and time. It took us two years, but we had finally gotten the house the way we wanted it.
And then the fire. The problem I've had is that in looking for furniture, I have wanted to replace what we lost or recreate the room we had. That would have worked for the most part if we had rebuilt the same house. But we didn't.
And I am finding that the things I wanted to replace what I HAD do not necessarily go in the new house. I wished that we had waited a few months after moving in to get some of the bigger furniture pieces. I understand why we didn't. We just wanted to be home, feel settled. That feeling, though, was more about time than it was about having our house finished, though I didn't fully comprehend that at the time. I just put away the stocking holders that I loved because I don't have a place for them really to go. I realized that the stairway is a better spot for the stockings in this house.
So we are reworking, redecorating, rearranging. And I am accepting that just because it WAS, doesn't mean it always has to be.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Christmas pictures
I have been spending many days at my grandmother's helping sort through her things. I have many thoughts on that I am hoping to share soon.
We're also working hard on getting our house ready for Christmas. I can't believe one week is already gone and just hope I have the time to enjoy this season as it's my favorite.
Dan installing the lights:
The house:
Kellen helping make gingerbread:
We're also working hard on getting our house ready for Christmas. I can't believe one week is already gone and just hope I have the time to enjoy this season as it's my favorite.
Dan installing the lights:
The house:
Kellen helping make gingerbread:
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Socks
I have been meaning to write this post for a month. November just was one of those months, and it culminated in a bout of hives, which I am hoping are now gone.
Some people have shoe fetishes. I have a sock obsession. I love socks, love them. I have a few pair of plain white socks for working out, but that isn't the bulk of my sock collection. Most of my socks are well thought out purchases, in a variety of colors for all matching possibilities. Arguile, polka dotted, floral, BSU themed...
Before the fire, I would pick up socks here and there over time. But after the fire, I had no socks. So I bought a lot of them at once. It's a year later, and they all have holes in them.
I guess I should be glad that I've owned something long enough to get holes (it's like the lightbulbs!), but it's a real bummer that they are all getting holes at the same time. Before, they were staggered, and now they are all just worn. I am trying to stagger buying new socks this next year so that I don't have a major sock disaster every fall, but it's hard when you need socks now. And sadly, I really liked a lot of my socks that are now being tossed (and darning them isn't really an option because 1) I don't have anything to repair them with and 2) the bottoms are worn out in more than just the spots with holes and 3) I don't like the feel of them!)
In other news, I was just alerted to another family on my parenting board who lost their home over Thanksgiving while they were out of town. They have two young children, and I just feel for them. It also brings back a lot of emotions about those first few weeks... and then the months that followed. It reminds me of how important it is for me to work on the online fire resource as soon as I am healthy. Because people need direction, help, support.
Some people have shoe fetishes. I have a sock obsession. I love socks, love them. I have a few pair of plain white socks for working out, but that isn't the bulk of my sock collection. Most of my socks are well thought out purchases, in a variety of colors for all matching possibilities. Arguile, polka dotted, floral, BSU themed...
Before the fire, I would pick up socks here and there over time. But after the fire, I had no socks. So I bought a lot of them at once. It's a year later, and they all have holes in them.
I guess I should be glad that I've owned something long enough to get holes (it's like the lightbulbs!), but it's a real bummer that they are all getting holes at the same time. Before, they were staggered, and now they are all just worn. I am trying to stagger buying new socks this next year so that I don't have a major sock disaster every fall, but it's hard when you need socks now. And sadly, I really liked a lot of my socks that are now being tossed (and darning them isn't really an option because 1) I don't have anything to repair them with and 2) the bottoms are worn out in more than just the spots with holes and 3) I don't like the feel of them!)
In other news, I was just alerted to another family on my parenting board who lost their home over Thanksgiving while they were out of town. They have two young children, and I just feel for them. It also brings back a lot of emotions about those first few weeks... and then the months that followed. It reminds me of how important it is for me to work on the online fire resource as soon as I am healthy. Because people need direction, help, support.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
In memory
Margaret Bailey
Margaret Vandenburg Linville Bailey, 82, died peacefully at home surrounded by her family in Boise on Wednesday, November 25, 2009 after suffering a recent stroke. Services will be held at 1:00 pm on Saturday, November 28, 2009 at the First United Methodist Church (Cathedral of the Rockies), at 717 N. 11th Street in Boise, followed by interment at Dry Creek Cemetery. Arrangements are under the direction of Alden-Waggoner Funeral Chapel, Boise. Margaret was born on January 12, 1927 and lived in Boise for most of her life. As the daughter of Stewart C. Vandenburg and Edna Tussing Vandenburg, Margaret grew up on Harrison Boulevard and graduated from Boise High School. She earned her B.A and M.A in education from Stanford University, where she met her first husband, Robert G. Linville Jr. She taught Physical Education to high school girls in South San Francisco and in Glenns Ferry, Idaho before returning to Boise in 1956. Margaret and Robert were divorced in 1978. Four years later she married Morton Bailey. Margaret and Morton spent many happy and wonderful years together traveling and golfing until his death in 1998. Service to community and love for her family were the hallmarks that guided Margaret's life. She was a very spiritual person and a lifelong member of the First United Methodist Church, serving in many volunteer positions. She also served on the Boise Family YMCA Board of Directors, was a 50 year member of Chapter "A" P.E.O., the Junior League of Boise, and a scout leader in both Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America. In the community or as a church volunteer, Margaret was cherished for her compassion, reliability and dependability. Whenever she agreed to help with an event or project, everyone involved knew that her duties would be completed correctly, on time, and under budget. She was an optimistic, complimentary and loving person who shared freely of her talents and her positive attitude with all those around her. She had many devoted and lifelong friends with whom she spent many happy days. As an Idaho girl and a physical education major, Margaret engaged in and promoted many forms of exercise and outdoor recreation. She loved the rugged and natural beauty of Idaho's outdoors. She was particularly fond of spending time at the family cabin in Grandjean, Idaho during her summers, where she presided over and directed family activities and reunions for almost 50 years. She also loved the mountain solitude of the cabin where she could relax while reading her favorite book. She loved competition, and regularly challenged her grandchildren in games of pounce, scrabble and golf. She was an avid Bronco football fan and a longtime season ticketholder who never missed a BSU home game. Mrs. Bailey is survived by her sons Thomas Linville and his wife Jacque of Boise; Robert Linville and his wife Patty of Seward Alaska; Richard Linville and his wife Amy of Emmett; her daughter Rebecca Obletz and her husband Douglas of Portland, Oregon; her stepdaughter Martha Sorenson and her husband Christopher of Boise; and her brother Dick Vandenburg and his wife Jean of Boise. She is also survived by her large extended family with a current total of fifteen grandchildren, three great-grandchildren, three nieces and two nephews. Her family was always blessed by her love. We will miss her eternal optimism, faithfulness and determination. Her character set an example that has shaped all of our lives. Her blue eyes and enduring smile will live in our hearts forever. Memorials may be made to the First United Methodist Church (Cathedral of the Rockies) 717 N. 11th Street, Boise, Idaho 83702, or the Boise Family YMCA, 1050 West State Street, Boise, Idaho 83702.
Margaret Vandenburg Linville Bailey, 82, died peacefully at home surrounded by her family in Boise on Wednesday, November 25, 2009 after suffering a recent stroke. Services will be held at 1:00 pm on Saturday, November 28, 2009 at the First United Methodist Church (Cathedral of the Rockies), at 717 N. 11th Street in Boise, followed by interment at Dry Creek Cemetery. Arrangements are under the direction of Alden-Waggoner Funeral Chapel, Boise. Margaret was born on January 12, 1927 and lived in Boise for most of her life. As the daughter of Stewart C. Vandenburg and Edna Tussing Vandenburg, Margaret grew up on Harrison Boulevard and graduated from Boise High School. She earned her B.A and M.A in education from Stanford University, where she met her first husband, Robert G. Linville Jr. She taught Physical Education to high school girls in South San Francisco and in Glenns Ferry, Idaho before returning to Boise in 1956. Margaret and Robert were divorced in 1978. Four years later she married Morton Bailey. Margaret and Morton spent many happy and wonderful years together traveling and golfing until his death in 1998. Service to community and love for her family were the hallmarks that guided Margaret's life. She was a very spiritual person and a lifelong member of the First United Methodist Church, serving in many volunteer positions. She also served on the Boise Family YMCA Board of Directors, was a 50 year member of Chapter "A" P.E.O., the Junior League of Boise, and a scout leader in both Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America. In the community or as a church volunteer, Margaret was cherished for her compassion, reliability and dependability. Whenever she agreed to help with an event or project, everyone involved knew that her duties would be completed correctly, on time, and under budget. She was an optimistic, complimentary and loving person who shared freely of her talents and her positive attitude with all those around her. She had many devoted and lifelong friends with whom she spent many happy days. As an Idaho girl and a physical education major, Margaret engaged in and promoted many forms of exercise and outdoor recreation. She loved the rugged and natural beauty of Idaho's outdoors. She was particularly fond of spending time at the family cabin in Grandjean, Idaho during her summers, where she presided over and directed family activities and reunions for almost 50 years. She also loved the mountain solitude of the cabin where she could relax while reading her favorite book. She loved competition, and regularly challenged her grandchildren in games of pounce, scrabble and golf. She was an avid Bronco football fan and a longtime season ticketholder who never missed a BSU home game. Mrs. Bailey is survived by her sons Thomas Linville and his wife Jacque of Boise; Robert Linville and his wife Patty of Seward Alaska; Richard Linville and his wife Amy of Emmett; her daughter Rebecca Obletz and her husband Douglas of Portland, Oregon; her stepdaughter Martha Sorenson and her husband Christopher of Boise; and her brother Dick Vandenburg and his wife Jean of Boise. She is also survived by her large extended family with a current total of fifteen grandchildren, three great-grandchildren, three nieces and two nephews. Her family was always blessed by her love. We will miss her eternal optimism, faithfulness and determination. Her character set an example that has shaped all of our lives. Her blue eyes and enduring smile will live in our hearts forever. Memorials may be made to the First United Methodist Church (Cathedral of the Rockies) 717 N. 11th Street, Boise, Idaho 83702, or the Boise Family YMCA, 1050 West State Street, Boise, Idaho 83702.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Update
I've had a lot to say this month, but I haven't had time.
We have been holding vigil at my grandmother's side. Hospice tells us that she should die anytime. It definitely has put a different perspective on Thanksgiving than I expected for this year.
I am learning much though, least of which is that flexibility is required always. You just never know what might happen. The more rigid you are in your expectations, the more disappointed it allows you to be if those things change.
I am hoping to get a Thanksgiving post in and will post pictures of our first Thanksgiving in our house!!
We have been holding vigil at my grandmother's side. Hospice tells us that she should die anytime. It definitely has put a different perspective on Thanksgiving than I expected for this year.
I am learning much though, least of which is that flexibility is required always. You just never know what might happen. The more rigid you are in your expectations, the more disappointed it allows you to be if those things change.
I am hoping to get a Thanksgiving post in and will post pictures of our first Thanksgiving in our house!!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Beyond the beyond
I was reading my aunt's blog a few minutes ago, and someone wrote, "We are all taught that Life Isn't Fair, but this is beyond the beyond."
Do you know people who always seem to have drama and chaos in their lives? I've known those people, and I have been known to be skeptical of their stories. How can anyone possibly have THAT much stress and drama in their lives (that they weren't bringing on themselves)?
Well... I am THAT person.
In 2000, my uncle was diagnosed with a chronic illness. In 2001, my dad was diagnosed with stage IV Non-hodgkin's lymphoma and given a bad prognosis. He went into remission only to relapse six months later. He got better and then was sick again a few months after that. He moved to D.C. to live with me where he was in a clinical trial and has been in remission since 2004.
My sister had brainstem surgery in 2002. My step-dad had a herniated disk repaired. And then (after everyone was sick and tired of the hospital!) my appendix ruptured.
My grandfather was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and he died in 2004.
The next couple of years were fairly uneventful (if you consider graduating college, getting married and trying to have a baby uneventful!).
In 2007, my grandmother ate too much at Thanksgiving and had some GI issues that were life threatening. But, the fighter she is, she pulled through it.
In 2008, my house burned down. I got Bell's Palsy.
In the last few weeks, my aunt has had brain surgeries with H1N1 complications (following the first brain surgery in August), my uncle has had H1N1 with pneumonia complications, and my grandmother has had a stroke. All the while, I am dealing with my own chronic illness.
Life isn't fair. But this is beyond the beyond.
I was talking to my uncle this afternoon about my friends and family, who have been so giving through these difficult times. But, I told him, I worry. There is so much drama and stress, and I use up all of my energy just in dealing with my life that I don't have any to give back. I have very little energy right now as it is, and yet I've been spending 14 hour days at the hospital and making food for family members when I can't be. I want to give. It's in my nature to give. It makes me feel valued and a member of a community. It's not fair when the giving is one-sided though, and I really think that it is right now. I am hoping these dark clouds pass, that my emotional needs subside, and that I can one day give back to those who have given me so much.
Do you know people who always seem to have drama and chaos in their lives? I've known those people, and I have been known to be skeptical of their stories. How can anyone possibly have THAT much stress and drama in their lives (that they weren't bringing on themselves)?
Well... I am THAT person.
In 2000, my uncle was diagnosed with a chronic illness. In 2001, my dad was diagnosed with stage IV Non-hodgkin's lymphoma and given a bad prognosis. He went into remission only to relapse six months later. He got better and then was sick again a few months after that. He moved to D.C. to live with me where he was in a clinical trial and has been in remission since 2004.
My sister had brainstem surgery in 2002. My step-dad had a herniated disk repaired. And then (after everyone was sick and tired of the hospital!) my appendix ruptured.
My grandfather was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and he died in 2004.
The next couple of years were fairly uneventful (if you consider graduating college, getting married and trying to have a baby uneventful!).
In 2007, my grandmother ate too much at Thanksgiving and had some GI issues that were life threatening. But, the fighter she is, she pulled through it.
In 2008, my house burned down. I got Bell's Palsy.
In the last few weeks, my aunt has had brain surgeries with H1N1 complications (following the first brain surgery in August), my uncle has had H1N1 with pneumonia complications, and my grandmother has had a stroke. All the while, I am dealing with my own chronic illness.
Life isn't fair. But this is beyond the beyond.
I was talking to my uncle this afternoon about my friends and family, who have been so giving through these difficult times. But, I told him, I worry. There is so much drama and stress, and I use up all of my energy just in dealing with my life that I don't have any to give back. I have very little energy right now as it is, and yet I've been spending 14 hour days at the hospital and making food for family members when I can't be. I want to give. It's in my nature to give. It makes me feel valued and a member of a community. It's not fair when the giving is one-sided though, and I really think that it is right now. I am hoping these dark clouds pass, that my emotional needs subside, and that I can one day give back to those who have given me so much.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I'll be home for Christmas
I just got home from my grandmother's house. She went home from the hospital today, and there is still a long road ahead, but fortunately she will be able to be at home for the time being.
As I was driving home, I was listening to Deliliah, and I knew immediately that Christmas music was on. I don't know when they made the switch, but I was so so so excited. I have been so good about not listening to Christmas music yet, but honestly, I might start pulling stuff out after tonight. As I was listening to Christmas music, I was thinking about decorating our home, about the Christmas tree in front of the stairs, about the big balls we bought at Costco to hang outside, about Dan putting up the lights for the first time in our house. Granted, we DID celebrate last year in our home, but it was a bare floored, no cabinet, no carpet kind of house, and I didn't get to celebrate the entire month. As I was thinking about all of the joy this Christmas will bring, I started crying (which isn't the best thing when you are on the freeway while it's raining with your son in the backseat sleeping).
Obviously I love Christmas. And I am so excited to be able to decorate our house and celebrate, really celebrate here. This year, I'll be home for Christmas.
As I was driving home, I was listening to Deliliah, and I knew immediately that Christmas music was on. I don't know when they made the switch, but I was so so so excited. I have been so good about not listening to Christmas music yet, but honestly, I might start pulling stuff out after tonight. As I was listening to Christmas music, I was thinking about decorating our home, about the Christmas tree in front of the stairs, about the big balls we bought at Costco to hang outside, about Dan putting up the lights for the first time in our house. Granted, we DID celebrate last year in our home, but it was a bare floored, no cabinet, no carpet kind of house, and I didn't get to celebrate the entire month. As I was thinking about all of the joy this Christmas will bring, I started crying (which isn't the best thing when you are on the freeway while it's raining with your son in the backseat sleeping).
Obviously I love Christmas. And I am so excited to be able to decorate our house and celebrate, really celebrate here. This year, I'll be home for Christmas.
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